Everyone knows how stressful it can be to plan/attend a weekend getaway with a large party, especially when attendees have different expectations and different budgets. This becomes even more apparent when planning bachelor/bachelorette parties. In 2022 alone, I attended 5 bachelorette weekends over a two month time span. Most of these were for friends from college, but all trips had attendees from different parts of the bride’s life , with varying budgets, and different size parties. This post is for guests, planners and brides of bachelorette trips. All these tips are things to consider before you financially commit to one of these trips as well as when you attend.
Tip #1: Timing
If people are having to come from out of town or you are coordinating a large group, I recommend planning 6 months- 1 year ahead. This not only helps with people’s schedules, but financially people can save up their money longer. I understand that is not always possible, but if it is less than that time frame, be prepared for people to say no due to time/budgetary constraints.
Tip #2: Planning Documents
When planning, I like the use of Google Forms to narrow down weekends, locations, and attendees details. Google Forms makes it easy to see which details work best through their summary feature and individual feature. Also, it allows you to get down important information about each attendee like dietary restrictions, alcohol preferences, budgetary preferences, etc. The best part is that it exports the results into a Google sheet you can then utilize for planning the rest of the trip.
Tip #3: Covering the Bride’s Costs
I recommend ALWAYS asking ahead of time if the attendees are expected to help cover the bride’s costs of the trip. This is something that needs to be addressed first and up front. If it is not, it can drastically change the cost of a trip. As the planner, laying out exactly what the cost difference will allow people to be educated with that information before making a decision about coming. This conversation needs to be with the entire party including the bride.Some brides are comfortable paying for the big things, but then their friends will treat them to their dinner or drinks. There are lots of scenarios and as long as everyone communicates before the trip, everyone will have an expectation and the appropriate budget in mind.
Tip #4: Extra Stuff
Ask ahead of time if the “extra stuff” that people receive at bachelorette parties is included in the costs. This could include items like t-shirts, goodie bags, decorations, etc. Sometimes the bride covers these, sometimes the maid of honor, or sometimes the attendees. Regardless, it is an extra cost that might come up at the end if you don’t ask.
Tip #5: Alcohol
Alcohol combined with splitting costs is an important topic. Many times on trips, alcohol can be included in the grocery budget. Unfortunately, if someone only has one glass of wine or one drink the whole time compared to those who drink more, it can feel unfair. As the planner, ask people if they would feel comfortable with splitting the costs or if not make it BYOB.
Tip #6: Food
On any type of large group trip, there are always two trains of thought – saving money and cooking or going out to eat. There can be a balance of that on a bachelorette trip, but I think knowing people’s budgets ahead of time can help either decide when to cook and when not to. If you are buying food, I am always a proponent of buying more food than less. This allows for less trips to the store so you can spend more quality time together. If you have extra food at the end, people can bring it home or donate it to a local shelter.
Tip #7: Renting a Car vs Uber
Renting a car versus taking Ubers/taxis is another cost to consider. Renting a car and splitting the cost is almost always cheaper especially if you are not staying in a walkable area. It also allows you more flexibility with helping people get to and from the airport and grabbing items from the store if you are cooking. On the flip side, that means if drinking is involved, someone has to be the designated driver. If communicated ahead of time and clearly, I think it can be a successful way to save on money. As with many other things, clear communication up front is key. Your group needs to agree that everyone is splitting ALL Uber/lyft costs, or the costs of the gas and the rental car.
Tip #8: Transportation and Location
Traditionally driving to a location is going to be cheaper than flying and renting a car. Sometimes it is feasible for a portion of the group to drive. If you have at least one car there plus a rental car, you have more flexibility with large group transportation. This is something to think about when planning the location of your bachelorette. My friend chose Scottsdale because she knew at least one friend would be driving from California. My other friend chose Florida because she knew I would be driving there.
Tip #9: Packing
My recommendation is to pack more clothes than you think you need! I feel like I’ve changed the most outfits I ever had during bachelorette weekends due to the different types of events each day. I’d say bring two extra outfit options, one casual and one cute just in case the plan changes!
Tip #10: Games
Bachelorette games can vary from traditional to unique. Communicate with the bride ahead of time if they would like to play games and if yes, the types of games they would like and how many. Sometimes one game is plenty for them, sometimes they want them all! The classic game of asking the groom questions and the bride answers is always a favorite. To make it feel a little bit more inclusive, I’ve seen it where the groom types out their answers, sends a voice memo or even records their answer to play after the bride does. I’ve also seen games where teams create a dress with toilet paper, nail polish party game, or bachelorette bingo cards. There are so many games out there with a quick google search in combination with speaking to the bride you can create fun ones!
Tip #11: Gift Giving
Gift giving at a bachelorette, especially involving lingerie is another important topic. Once again, ask the bride ahead of time what they would like. Sometimes they only want one nice pair of lingerie and the rest can be casual. If it’s a larger group, team up and split the cost of one nice item. If the bride isn’t into lingerie, which I know many aren’t, there are tons of alternatives. One of my friends did an athletic wear gift, one did fun underwear, and one did pajamas. There are plenty of ways to share affordable gifts without it being lingerie. Also, ask ahead of time what the budget for the items should be that everyone should spend.
Tip #12: Combination Weekend
A Bridal Shower and Bachelorette weekend combination is something I see happening more often. This is because it’s hard to plan two separate weekends. If you attend one that includes both, I recommend you break it up into different parts of the weekend. Ask certain people to take charge of a certain game/activity so not one person is planning it all. These could include things like a bridal “brunch”, wedding dress making with toilet paper, bouquet making, etc. I love the idea of combining both and it can be done efficiently if communicated to the group properly!
Tip #13: Down Time Activities
Make sure to bring games or other activities for down time during the trip. These can include a deck of cards, Monopoly Deal, Bananagrams, a puzzle, etc. This is helpful if certain people wake up earlier, get ready earlier or any other circumstance that involves downtime.
Tip #14: Theme Nights
Theme nights are fun, but expectations need to be set. If you want to have a theme night for your bachelorette, I recommend at most one. Make sure the theme is very clear and send examples of what people can wear that goes with the theme. This allows people to make decisions if they want to buy something new or thrift. If you can find a theme with an item they could potentially re-wear again that would be ideal.
Tip #15: Items to Bring
My top two items you should bring are a speaker, and a tripod for photos. Having background music is always a vibe when getting ready or hanging out. You’ll most likely want group photos taken and that can be difficult without a tripod!
This is not a step by step checklist on how to plan a bachelorette weekend. Instead, my goal of this blog post is to make sure you think about these tips while planning. These weekends are some of the fondest memories I have and with clear communication and detailed planning, you can create these amazing memories as well.
